Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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