clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
