so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
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