I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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