just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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