The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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