he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
