Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Let's get the cat blown out
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
