That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
