So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
