it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
