Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
