So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
COCAINE IS GR8
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
