Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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