I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
