naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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