Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
