Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
