What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
