I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
So much Jack, so little girl.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
