Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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