I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
