I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
