saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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