Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
