Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
