You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
