Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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