Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
