and you said cock pushups were impossible
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
