would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
