Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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