every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
