and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
