He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Randomize
