I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
