We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
