PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
