Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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