Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I just found puke in my bra..
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
