He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
So here I am, sexting at work.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
