i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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