U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
