My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
