so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
