Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
