she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
