you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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