Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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