Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
