why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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