Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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